...well, or completely on topic, I guess... What in the world do stay-at-home-moms DO all day? You guys, I hate that I'm even asking this because it makes me feel useless and stupid, but seriously. I am so bored. I mean, Luke and I have a riot all the time because that's all I have to do, and I love that. I really do. And don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things I could do to "use up" my time, even some useful things. But it's a year into the full-time at home gig and I'm running out of steam for the stuff that I've been doing to "keep busy." (Ugh, I always HATED women saying that, because for my working mom it was like a slap in the face.) I mean, I'm running out of desire to do any more crafts again ever, and I think if I spend another minute trying to perfect the art and science of homemaking that my head is going to implode.
I keep thinking about part-time jobs, but the time away from Luke wouldn't be worth the money to me (it's surprisingly difficult to find work that's less than, say, 10 hours a week that will pay you more than minimum wage--which means that after paying a babysitter, it would cost us more money for me to have a job). I don't think I'm skilled enough to teach piano lessons. I've thrown around the idea of babysitting or nannying, but stuff like that is regulated strangely around here and there's a glut of college students and low-income young women that will take the work for pennies on the dollar.
I'm looking into picking up old hobbies (like piano) and maybe starting up some new ones (like photography). But I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels. I feel like I'm an educated, motivated, ambitious person and it feels like I'm wasting so much precious time that I could spend doing something...I don't know. Meaningful. Not that raising a child isn't meaningful (!), but I guess I just feel like I could be doing more than I am. I've thought about it for hours and hours and talked about it with Scott over & over; he's not ready for another baby just yet, and I bet that boredom is a really, really bad reason to get pregnant anyway. Ha ha.
We're planning on getting a second car soon, so that will expand my horizons exponentially, but I have no idea what to expand said horizons into. We just moved into a new ward (with moving and vacations and everything, last week was our first Sunday there), and on the new-member sheet they have you fill out, I tried to hint as strongly as I could that I was very willing and able to help out a lot in the ward. I doubt that will come to much, though, because it's an enormous ward with about a quadrillion students that constantly come and go, and I don't think we'll escape that category since we're the same age as everyone else.
Man, I'm sorry, I don't mean to complain. I just feel bad...like I'm ungrateful or something. I feel like I should be more content. Maybe I'm just having a hard time downshifting after the craziness of school school school college college work work work, you know? But it's been a year and I still feel...itchy. Brain itchy. Or something. Help?
Do not feel guilty about feeling that way! I feel it too. A lot. Especially now that Chloe is older and mobile so she goes off to play with Naomi.
ReplyDeleteYou could always start a new hobby like sewing or crocheting but I find that as soon as I sit down to do something like that Naomi wants to play with all the supplies and I can never get anything done, let alone learn how to do it in the first place.
I read. A lot. I've been reading all these classic books that everyone always talks about and they make movies out of and you wonder if anyone's actually read them. I watch tv shows on Netflix. I blog. I just got a double stroller so I plan to go out more now that we have that and a second car. I've also started using that time to read my scriptures again.
Sorry that this really isn't that helpful. I guess I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I hope you find some sort of outlet that's right for you. Because even though being a mother is extremely important, we have to take care of ourselves too and maintain our own identity and not disappearing into "MOM."
Oh man! Totally understand and I've had this conversation with so many people. I think just about everyone agrees.
ReplyDeleteI also read. I do a lot of planning (for anything and everything). I run all things financial and business around here. I organize and organize and organize (somehow this will never be done). And I have all sorts of "hobbies" that I sort through. And blog. And play games (wii, board, card, Vidalia age appropriate and not with and without her. And the thing I think I love most is spending time with Vidalia trying to teach her new things (not that she's to the age to understand new things). It sounds like a lot when I list it, but it's really not. Especially without specific assignments or deadlines. Perhaps it would be better for us sometimes if we didn't have so many conveniences (like washing machines, dishwashers, vacuums) I think we'd have less time then.
Good luck! If you come up with anything you think is really great, please share.